South Park: The Fractured But Whole – Easy Allies Review

South Park: The Fractured But Whole – Easy Allies Review


South Park: The Stick of Truth proved to be
one of the most faithful video game adaptations with its authentic visuals, shocking humor, and a catchy battle system
that took a page from the Paper Mario series. With the newest entry, The Fractured But Whole,
Ubisoft hopes that lightning can strike twice, trading out the RPG masters over at Obsidian
for their own internal studio. This sequel rekindles much of the same magic, but it doesn’t quite surpass the original effort. South Park prides itself on its topical humor
and bold jokes that often test the limits
of what our culture deems acceptable. This holds true in the Fractured But Whole, with the writers taking aim at many current issues including the Black Lives Matter movement,
the LGBTQ community, Neo-Nazis, and police corruption. It’s all done under the guise of spoofing
the superhero craze that’s captured pop culture over the past two decades, with the lovable fourth graders
stepping into the leading roles once again as they duke it out to see
which rival faction will secure their franchise’s future. This has always been Matt Stone and Trey Parker’s MO with the series – to embed meaningful commentary behind a surface level joke that sometimes
pushes us beyond our comfort zones. Meanwhile, like The Stick of Truth before it, The Fractured But Whole fully embraces
South Park’s rich history, and veteran fans will find more than a few nods
to previous episodes, some of which play a crucial part in the game’s
main storyline. For the most part, the jokes hit their marks, but the writing isn’t quite as funny this second time around. Perhaps it’s just the fact
it’s already been done so well before, or maybe the series has just been around for too long. It’s still head and shoulders above most anything else
in the gaming industry, but the game, like the past few seasons of the show,
is showing signs of inconsistency. Part of the reason it falls a bit short
is due to the early pacing of the game. The story unfolds over several days
as you join your friends as the new kid once again, with a load of story missions and side objectives
to accomplish each day. Once night falls,
you proceed into a cleverly masked dungeon sequence with enemy encounters and a boss battle. The structure is simple enough,
but the opening few hours are incredibly slow, serving as a glorified tutorial. The objectives and activities are rather dull
when compared to the rest of the game, which eventually gets its act together
and moves forward at a more enjoyable pace. With the game clocking in at around 20 hours,
it could have done more to trim the fat. Scanning through every chest, drawer, and trash can
to pick up materials, consumables, and other items also gets tedious rather quickly. It could just be that some of the charm and wonder
of exploring a fully realized South Park has worn off, but it feels like more than a case of deja vu. Thanks to the large roster of characters
and ever-evolving mechanics, combat becomes the highlight of the game. Instead of the more traditional,
turn-based system found in The Stick of Truth, here the developers have implemented a more tactical, grid-based battle system, essentially making it a very light strategy RPG. It starts off very simple and never really aspires
to be anything too complex, but the payoff is that combat feels fast-paced
and rewarding. The banter between characters in battle
also provides a modicum of humor, as do many of the attacks
and their elaborate animations, but the real show stoppers are the ridiculous sequences that make up ultimate attacks. It also feels
like just the right amount of enemy encounters, too, though if you really feel the need to grind, enemies will re-spawn on the map eventually. The Fractured But Whole isn’t particularly difficult,
though there are a few decent spikes near the end. However if you don’t do enough prep work to get ready for major fights, it is possible to get easily overwhelmed. Neglecting to occasionally swap in better gear, forgetting to configure your party to suit conditions, or failing to bring enough recovery items will make progress harder than it should be, but unless you bump it to the highest difficulty setting, you won’t encounter too much resistance. This is further evident by the fact
that the only penalty for failure is being sent back to right before the fight you lost. The Fractured But Whole once again nails the look
and the feel of South Park, and it is still remarkable to see
how well it keeps up the act. As for the soundtrack, it’s got all the right themes
to accompany each ridiculous situation, but it’s nothing special. The voice talent is up to the task again, helping to preserve your complete immersion into their world. The game can suffer
from some technical inconsistencies. Walking between screens is usually instantaneous
and smooth, but often a jarring loading screen sticks in for a bit too long. During battles, combat animations and changing turns can get held up for a few moments, which gets distracting. We also encountered a strange glitch
that temporarily prevented us from progressing until we reloaded an earlier checkpoint. It’s possible a patch will resolve all this for launch, but these issues were all present during our play through
for the review. It’s clear that The Fractured But Whole has a few issues that could have been ironed out prior to release, which is surprising given the game’s delays. However, like The Stick of Truth before it, this game absolutely nails the look and feel of the show. Overall it’s a slightly weaker effort than its predecessor, but it is still one of the funniest games out there. Easy Allies Reviews are made possible
by generous viewers just like you. If you like what you see, check out patreon.com/easyallies to see our other videos and consider becoming a patron to help us make more.

🚑COMAN INJURY CONSPIRACY!🚑 (Bayern Munich vs Tottenham 3-1 Parody)

🚑COMAN INJURY CONSPIRACY!🚑 (Bayern Munich vs Tottenham 3-1 Parody)


During Bayern vs Spurs, this happened! An innocent injury or, another Champions League conspiracy? The German Hitman Theory Oh, what a shame,
SUB ME ON!! The Dutch Hitman Theory Oh what a shame, yes I can come out of retirement!
SUB ME ON! The Polish Hitman Theory YES! Of course I hit the target! Sorry Kingsley! Goals to score, records to break! SUB ME ON! The English Shitman theory Go away! I’m not doing any interviews until the election is over! And The Danish Hitman Theory Hey Kingsley, I don’t mean to alarm you but my private investigator just called and said… …Jan Vertonghen has gone into your house. With your wife… I need to get home to my wife! It worked! Now go and do it on the rest of the team… – But…
– Don’t make me “Luke Shaw” you… Which way do you think he was?
Click “i” to vote now.

Let’s Fighting Love | South Park the Fractured But Whole- Part 9


All right so now We gotta find mrs. Cartman He’s probably up in a room getting fucked Or she’s in the kitchen here. She is Well I’ve just finished up your little reward you’ve earned it, sweetie Mrs.. Carmen’s double-stuffed brownies Okay, I take it damn she’s quick We now know for a fact that scrambles the missing cat is part of a larger conspiracy We also know that the fucking Freedom House have more information about this conspiracy than we do FAC Maybe we should just face it guys. Maybe Freda pals have a better super franchise that we do Hey, that’s no way to talk mosquito The only reason that Freda pals are ahead of us right now is because they’re but fuckin cheaters who sold out yeah But freedom paths have dr. Timothy and he can read people’s knives and bend reality Yeah, cuz he just said that when we made up our superpowers. He was like well I have every power to do fuck it everything you think that’s fair It’s time for us to be as dirty as them we have to know at the Freedom House know How we ever gonna get the help of freedom panel? We send a spy someone in our group who pretends to want to switch sides and join freedom at Somebody who they don’t know very well Then you kick joins Freedom House think ask for assistance investigating the community see hope the new cut is good at bullshitting You’ll never get past security Craig’s exchange. It everything I can get the new kid inside I’ve got hacking abilities Remember cuz I’m the gadget to your class with the tinkling ability known as chaos You just saying that to get out of jail you better let him go the new kid will need him alright fine Get the new kid inside freedom pals base ok If he tries anything funny kill him As bad as my difference. There’s no way to unsee the board with Where they cleaned up for a while so what were you stepping? Where have you been mister oh hey Dad I Didn’t come home last night butters your mom and I were worried sick. We could barely enjoy the movie we were watching I’m sorry dad. That’s just my new friend because you really mean sorry’s not gonna. Cut it mister and you what’s your name? You gotta say shit you don’t escape I Asked you a question. Who are you? Please please don’t do this cut does it butters you are grounded, and so is your smartass little friend Teenage now Klein minion recipe There’s no escape there we go And fire Hey, why is sweet I grounded you how could you be here right now? You have some kind of ability to unground people Whoever you touch becomes ungrounded is that it your evil magic is not welcome here darling Fucking butters dad man, okay. Let’s see I Think we’re good for right now Your buddies can’t join the fight until you unground them the ability and ground has replaced your ultimate power in this fight I Know this is your fault I Know you doubt butters you are shampooing the carpet after this Hey only an adult has the authority to unground a time Last of last Anakin confusing Shaka fo There we go gather ungrounded Nice There you go, buddy Many times have I told you not to play around with raw energy beams there we go Yeah, let’s get bastard Let’s see what will reduce these fools to cinders oh, I know up he goes There we go Making fun of the x-men movies they’re Southpark I Have done the unthinkable I have ungrounded butters I am a hero There we go In the old days before cellphones if you’ve got our superheroes kind of played out chaos is calling you out yeah, bitch Alright, I’m gonna go and help Clyde Then why did you say hang on I’ll be right back with my dad’s credit card He won’t even know it’s gone. No more head games. Give me the car. There’s gonna be trouble problem here gasps All right, so everyone’s locked I can’t change anyone You guys met my main squeeze don’t you care lay a hand on her that didn’t take long, right? Goddammit Yeah, it’s not that common are we gonna fight Rebecca? I’ll probably die anyway There we go skip her turn That’s a snappy shit, dude There we go I’ll handle these little pervs I Said more than sure then like what’s his name what’s her name Rebecca is gonna come back There she’s go step Out for you, dude There we go Goddamn it Clyde Snap out of it Nearly kind of ratty right now. I won’t lie There we go heal myself up Time for ya That’s up it for you And I’ll take care of two of them That’s going to leave some scars She really make more burritos Well I guess it’s just you and me now bitches, oh wait I brought a friend. I’m not hitting on you Damn it. They keep on charming him Okay Welcome to lazytown oh I can finally go thanks, but that’s all your Yeah, she broke through the protect Here for a sticking up Let’s take out Rebecca she’s the biggest threat Bechet NL Batman was a cyborg I literally eat kids like you for breakfast there we go Skipper turn That’s no way to treat a lady true, but you ain’t no lady She’s dead More love with me boys. I’m sorry it didn’t work out between us There we go Yes, lovely Me bur blame eBay Who is the farting vanilla Johnny scrap I’m going I just got a look in this Terrance and Phillip backpack. Oh Xxxx I think this is what Cartman put in mr.. Mackey’s food after mr. Mackey literally threw carbon under the bus Time for the hamster on my ass Superhero base, holy smokes they got a clean room and computers and lights well this makes a crap out of codes based on okay? I can play here every day. What are you doing here? Hey mysterion well we were just hoping to speak with dr. Timothy why the new kid wants to switch to my help Hey, new kid you might end up here? They’re here to spy on You know Anything Don’t trust them doc they can’t see what you’ve been working on back there What if the new kid really wants to switch we can see if the new kids intentions up here? We’re sending tuck away on a very important mission today, you can help them with that mission I don’t need backup especially not a new easy tough remember the freedom pals motto yeah retribution But with inclusion I’ll send you the details on the mission when you get there we can begin in the meantime I must get back to my work That’s another thing all right Freda pals are now available What All right, let’s see how this is gonna blow up Okay apparently we’re having a little quarrel Craig and tweek have agreed to some counseling as long as your present new kid, okay, so No Craig. What do you? What do you want to say to tweek? I? Think he has some stuff. He should say to me. Oh good good. You want to start Okay, okay, well maybe a new kid maybe you should share some of your thoughts I have some kids here to help us out when we’re trying to have some therapy the first thing we need to do is is take out our resentments, okay, so Let’s have a resentments come out coming out over come over resentment Okay, and then in any relationship. We also have expectations okay because expectations And then that of course leads to victimization and withdrawal Now you’ve got to learn to overcome all of these things. Okay. You ready you ready go fuck him up There they are right there drink ready go go beat the shit out of them Not literally because I don’t dance let’s Pudge Hello mr. Mackey’s just in the background Okay blasted shock flow is lightning Attack for your charity shrinkage and chilled Let’s do this Fondant dentist sweet dreams are made of these Who am I to disagree? I Love mr.. Becky commenting in the background There we go a microaggression Hey girl aggression still oh God that is not a good sign Jesus expectations doesn’t go down that easy. There’s always more expectations You boys have to work together if you’re going to eliminate all of those expectations do they Wait he’s right Huh we’re only going to get rid of these expectations and everything else if we do it together Okay eros throughout PDA the damages and confuses nearby foes That Was hilarious oh my God Oh, oh my god, Lily fuck you cried Now seeing this how we have freedom powers unlocked as characters, I wonder what everybody else’s powers are cuz we have Token we like everybody that we’ve met has had powers the only one that I haven’t met is like a buddy power It makes me smile I Love to play my mandolin my mandolin goes And makes me smile Off the stage to play my mandolin my mandolin goes Horn goes I Love to hear my bugle horn go My characters my the whole thing a Shady Acres oh My god, Kyle I held a colostomy bag. I do not want to see that shit Bodies is gonna get All right, let’s see tokens ultimate Well hello They’re pretty cool. Yeah, it’s like two turns three turns Oh Yes Let’s fight II love I just had to get out of there I’m glad Tokyo is there otherwise I would not have made that Doc this is mysterion we had some trouble, but the mission Nice work everyone new kid congratulations You’re officially a member of freedom palace you can join us tonight on our mission to the police station We’ve ascertained that police are being paid off by whoever’s running crime in the city. That’s right We believe we’ll find the answers to what’s going on there welcome to the team friend. We’ll see you tonight Don’t tell anyone we’re going to the police station Attention all conference report to the COO there we know now with the Freedom House No, I’ll come into the turn their great work, but Nord Alright Talk to the queue at the Koon lair I could really use a hero right now my tutoring business seems to have attracted the attention of a competitor Come by for a teensy moment and help me handle this. Thanks daddy Alright guys well I’m gonna leave that episode here, otherwise. I’m gonna die from laughing just on this shit If you guys are liking this be sure to let me know and I’ll see you guys in the next video

The Time Zack Morris Faked A Terminal Illness To Win A Celebrity Kissing Bet


♪ Zack Morris is Trash ♪ (school bell ringing) – [Narrator] Stevie the
pop star is coming back to her middle school to perform. Zack lays claim to her famous flesh. Lisa, president of Stevie’s fan club, in certain Stevie will have no interest in Zack’s immature ass. Here’s Stevie! Zack bet Nikki he could kiss Stevie and claims he already
won on a technicality because he kissed her poster, pathetic! If he wins, Nikki has to wash
his gym clothes for a year, attempting to force his
unwanted physical advances and housework on two women
at the same damn time. Stevie’s so happy to
see someone who knew her back when she was still Colleen. Miss Bliss learns Stevie’s at a hotel and insists she stay at her place. Stevie is pumped about her show and wants to sing a song
for one special student. Word is out Stevie’s looking
for someone to serenade. Zack intends to be that someone then leverage the moment for a kiss. – She won’t be able to say no
while the cameras are rolling. – [Narrator] It should come as no surprise Zack’s moving to Hollywood next year. A wigless Stevie got accepted to college, and despite her management’s
career concerns, she’s excited to find herself
through higher education because she’s got a good
head on her shoulders, especially without that wig. Zack hounds Lisa for info on Stevie he can use to win his carnal wager. Stevie loves charities and
lost causes, but how lost? – Earthquake relief, world
hunger, children’s hospitals. – Ding! – [Narrator] Zack is
suddenly not feeling great. Neither am I. Stevie picked a winner, Zack Morris! His doctor sent her a note, saying his dying wish is a Stevie song. Hopefully, it will add a few extra days to his over-any-minute-now life. P.S. Don’t be afraid to kiss him. He’s not contagious. Where did this guy go to med school? Belding announces Zack will
be onstage with Stevie. Miss Bliss wants to know his secret. Zack says he was just born lucky, which is accurate as he does
not have a fatal disease. Belding tells Zack he knows. Zack does his best
death-bed cough, pathetic! Belding alerts Mylo that Zack is on his way out, so be nice. Zack takes delight in his
new power of manipulation. He tells Belding to keep this quiet. He doesn’t want people
treating him differently, the only reason he’s doing this. Belding says it’s their secret. Oh, and he’s clearing Zack’s
atrocious academic record. But wanting to help, Belding showed Zack’s note to Miss Bliss, who wants to know how she
can ease his final days. Zack was feeling a little
weak during their last test. An A would really help. Of course! By the way, what is killing Zack? Clearly, it’s not his conscience. Zack says it’s a rare
case of, uh, deskarosis. Best he can come up with, pathetic! Miss Bliss says her grandpa had that. She knows the cure. You just need to hop up and down to shake loose all that
bullshit you’re full of! She can’t believe she has to say this, but you are not supposed
to lie about dying! It caused Belding real pain, Zack’s favorite part of the scam. And he hurt Stevie. Zack doesn’t care. She’s just some broad
who’s gonna sing to him. Won’t be the first, won’t be the last. Miss Bliss can’t believe
she also has to say this, but Zack’s Stevie song is off. Zack goes to apologize
at Miss Bliss’ house to maybe get that song back
and bumps into Colleen. She asks if Zack really
made a bet to kiss Stevie. – I guess you think she’s pretty hot. – Nah. – Nah? – Okay, she’s not a dog. – [Narrator] What a charmer. Zack tells Colleen to
deliver his apology for him, mistaking her for his
personal apology secretary, then tells Colleen to tell
Miss Bliss to tell Stevie she’s a real dummy for quitting
music to go to college. Stevie had it made because all Zack values is money, not learning, and what he assumes to
be a life of doing zilch. Colleen drops some knowledge
on Zack’s boring ass that entertainment is hard work. Then, psychology attacked
to feel Zack’s approval is the only thing keeping
her from being a dog, goes in for a kiss that is
way more than Zack can handle. Pathetic! The gang is gathered for Stevie’s show. Nikki has gym clothes for Zack to wash because he’s too dense
to understand he won. Wow, what a show! What a really weird show. This show is very weird. Zack says Stevie’s weird show was awesome. Her friends call her Colleen. Zack, realizing he’s the victor, screams like a spaz that
he kissed that girl. Only, nobody believes
him, listens, or cares because no matter what,
he’s still a loser. Let’s review. Zack Morris gambled over a celebrity kiss to make his female classmate
wash his sweaty clothes, and when he learned his
target has a kind heart, abused that knowledge by
faking a terminal illness to guilt her into kissing him, then expanded his
charade, exploiting anyone who would be foolish enough to
grant him one last kindness. Then, while attempting apology by proxy, which is not a thing, called the young lady he gambled on stupid for wanting to go to college,
and when he got that kiss, that he only got by being a jerk, and was too slow to know
occurred, couldn’t just enjoy it and had to yell about it
like a little blonde weenie. Zack Morris is trash! ♪ Zack Morris is Trash ♪ (school bell ringing)

Sh!t My Grunt Says: Fracture IMC

Sh!t My Grunt Says: Fracture IMC


The Militia are using our fuel rigs. They’re either desperate or stupid. Or both. Inside of these houses look like they all left in a hurry. When the IMC offers you a crapload of money, you either take it, or take a bullet in the head. The Militia are ambushing from inside the houses! Return fire! Close in! Close in! Don’t get caught in the crossfire! You know, I’d rather blow out the fuel tanks than hand them over to the Militia! Waste of fuel! I’d rather blow up the Militia! After we’re done with the Militia here, these houses will be the only thing left standing! Why wait?! Hell, I just say burn the whole bloody place down! Looks like the Militia figured out a way to siphon fuel directly into their largest ships. Do you see that ship above the cliff? Yeah. You need at least a few turrets to put a dent in a ship that size! Militia’s light on fire cover, these guys are crazy! Roger that! Our Phantoms are gonna rip them apart! Hey Sarge, you check out these houses? The civvies in here must’ve been loaded! Roger that! If there’s loot to split we’ll do it after we take care of the Militia! Militia’s got to be desperate for fuel, bringing this many ships with civvies on board into a warzone! You sure they’re civvies? Just because they don’t wear a uniform don’t mean they’re civvies! This is the old Eastern Lex Community. ‘Bunch of rich geezers who struck gold. I thought they struck oil, you’re talking like gold is still worth something. Well, it used to be, it’s just a figure of speech now. I had an uncle who lived in this community. What did he do? Invent the jumpkit propulsion unit or something? Yeah, actually he did! Good guess! There’s a lot of pipes all over the place. No one lives here anymore, so organization doesn’t really matter. Organization always matters. Without it, everything could fall. You’re that guy who always had his pencils presharpened aren’t you? This place is full of broken telephone poles and scrap metal. Those are pipes, not telephone poles. It’s for the fuel rigs. Whatever. Those ships are jumping in here quick. The Militia need to refill. Looks like they’re bringing their entire fleet. Good. Let’s just end this all now. Ah. If I had a Titan, I’d jump up to that ship and take it out myself! I don’t think Titans can jump, mate. They will when I’m in one! There’s gotta be enough fuel in this place to run Angel City for a year! Yeah, that’ll power the whole Militia fleet alright. Heh, not gonna’ let that happen! Alright boys, lets give the Militia all we’ve got. Remember your tactical training! Two-One-Eagle-Six, pincer movement. Keep your eyes on those pipes! They provide decent coverage for the Militia! A fuel rig exploded when I was in the Battle of Orpheus. Took out half our dropships! Are you taking a piss? Did you at least get a shot off? Three-hundred rounds before we got pulled back to central command! Hell of a day. Shock tactics Gamma-4, I want soldiers on those roofs now! These terrorists have got to be on their very last breath! Then let’s not let ’em take it! Remember, those fuel tanks are the Militia’s last chance to fuel up. There ain’t another fuel station for at least three jumps! Then they’re trapped, as good as dead. I say we cop ’em all. All this fracked ground’s unstable! Watch your step out there! No shit, this place is about to fall apart! Copy that, the sooner we’re off this rock, the better! Do you think this place is stable, with all this fracturing going on? Look around and take a guess. Wouldn’t take much to make this place fall apart. Great. I knew I should’ve joined the Air Force. These Militia guys are nuts. They’re gonna take heavy losses for sure, charging into gas fields like this. Graves has been chasing the Militia fleet for weeks! They’re probably almost out of jump fuel! Yeah, they’re gonna be down to the wire, big time! *pant* I’ve never seen them fight this hard for anything before! Whoever was living here before, they had major money to burn! Yeah, not a lot of common sense. Who the hell builds a city on a fuel reserve? Mate, if that thing goes down, if Bish or Sarah are onboard… Yeah, no kidding. This place is a lot like Earth, eh? No wonder the settlers moved here. Yeah, except the air is breathable around here. You been to Earth lately? Nah, Gridiron born and raised. Never seen Earth except in pictures. Must’ve been some old pictures. You see all those ships out there? They got to be running on fumes to pull a stunt like this. That also means they’re bringing their best. We might even get a shot at their top brass, keep your fingers crossed. Good, I owe that Bish guy a bullet to the head! Roger that. Hey! Is the “Red Eye” up there? Don’t waste your ammo shooting it. You won’t even scratch it. Leave it to the surface-to-air guns. Mate, if that thing goes down, if Bish or Sarah are onboard… It would be a hell of a win for the Vice Admiral!

You And Me – Lifehouse Cover + OUTTAKES – Morgan Flinchum and Lucas Fernandes


Hey what’s up?! I’m Lucas I’m Morgan and we will sing for you the song “You and Me” from Lifehouse so.. just gotta say something? I’m Morgan c’mon um I’m from Italy you notice his accent My accent is so normal it’s weird ? It’s normal yea it’s weird he’s kidding me he’s kidding me all the time so your accent I wuh wauh..%#? I just want to hear your accent in Portuguese right now Nao tenho n-nenhum sotaque (thick accent) Haha that accent’s so weird Sou Carioca po’ No it’s weird so I thought you said you’re from Italy We’re in Rio We’re gunna play some music for you I hope you’re ready I wanna, wanna play something in Italian ok here we go Enjoy itLucas: What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive I can’t keep up and I can’t back down
I’ve been losing so much time ‘Cause it’s you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose And it’s you and me and all of the people
And I don’t know why I can’t keep my eyes off of you Morgan: All of the things that I want to say just aren’t coming out right.. blip.. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Ho ha ho Why? WHYY?! Nao podia achar (accent) aye aye (Italian hand gesture) I have one job to do Ahh c’mon! I have one verse No, I have many jobs to do You’re wrong, the just one verse you have and you’re wrong at it Let’s pick back up No. I don’t want to record again I will not record again, man We have to record again No Yea No, forget it C’mon No C’mooon Lucas: I can’t keep my eyes off of you … Morgan: All of the things that I want to say just aren’t coming out right.. I’m ‘tripping on words’ You got my head spinning I don’t know where to go from here Both: ‘Cause it’s you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to prove/ not one to lose ??.. And it’s you and me and all of the people And I don’t know why I can’t keep my eyes off of youLucas: ‘Cause it’s you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose And it’s you and me and ‘Awvuhwoo’ (?) people And I don’t know why I can’t keep my eyes off of you bravo yea I’m wrong something, but.. It’s good Everybody, from Rio de Janeiro Lucas Morgan See you next time Ciao, tchau, chow?

The Joy of Illness

The Joy of Illness


hi internet so I’ve got through about
10,000 tissues and forty dvds this week now i’m not going to porn marathon I’m
sick. I know what you’re thinking who gets a fucking cold in August well I do ok now I could have spent this time wallowing in self-pity and my own fluids but i thought no I’m going to take my anger and
discomfort and force people on the internet to listen to it everybody keeps
telling me to just enjoy having a cold and sit in bed and watch a bunch of
movies but people forget that that’s not how it works because when your body
isn’t busy trying to eject your lungs out of your face your brain is like and you just can’t concentrate on anything I tried to play halo and it didn’t work
right oh oh what’s the point in living and I’ve found that the older you get the
less you can tolerate just doing nothing when you’re in school it’s like well I
guess it could be doing algebra or being punched in the face by some dickhead right
now so this is pretty fun but as soon as you’ve left school it’s like how can I
just sit here and do nothing I should be doing taxes or answering
emails when you are responsible for your own life you can’t enjoy having a cold
because you’re just wasting what little time you have left before you inevitably
die and don’t expect any sympathy if your parents aren’t around my friends don’t even believe I have a cold so gross
oh you probably just have man flu you what
come here huh come here
why
let me sneeze on you
excuse me let me sneeze on your face
what
if I just have man flu and I sneeze on your face then tomorrow morning you won’t wake up in a coma Dan you’re scaring me
come here
Dan let go in my attempt to recover I bought many different kinds of medicine
and they don’t do FUCKING anything it’s all bullshit look it’s just the same thing in
different forms with different shitty flavors you know this you know what it
taste like it tastes like a FUCKING corpse and I don’t know what the corpse
tastes like before you all say that in the comments but I imagine it tastes like
this the people that made this I think they
invented the common cold so we have to keep constantly buying this crap if I
die after this is uploaded it wasn’t the illness it was the drug companies hit man the
one thing I know is how much I am going to appreciate life when I’m better you just
don’t think about it day to day it’s all oh my life is so hard nobody liked my
facebook status and then bam everything gets taken from you listen
here you little shit unless you have a terminal illness or
something you better be appreciating your life right now you are healthy you’re free you can do anything you want
to go climb a goddamn moutain just because you can because i’m telling
you now this has changed my perspective as soon
as I have won this battle I know exactly how I’m going to spend my
life it’s the sick bed ridden screen yeah if
you enjoyed this and you want to see more from me then you can click on this tissue box to
subscribe to my channel to be told when I make a new video and
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cold and please let me know what that is down in the comments I mean none of them are going to work because if they did then I think everyone would know about
it by now but I want to anyway I need the hope so for now I’m going to
stay exactly where I’m sat and there will be a new video next friday bye guys

HE’S BAAAAAACK! | South Park: The Fractured But Whole – Part 12

HE’S BAAAAAACK! | South Park: The Fractured But Whole – Part 12


{Morgan}: You know kid you still have yet to tap the full potential of your time bending powers. {Jacky Boy Man}: oh Uhh okay thing that could enhance your ability could possibly make time pass more quickly Okay cool. Thanks. You see that AC fan over there Right there behind you over by the gate.{Jack} I see it. {Morgan} on the left side can’t miss it. {Jacky Boy Man}:Yep If you fart into that bear the oscillation of the gas will filter it through the expansion valve Mixing it with the pressurized refrigerant inside the condenser chorus. Okay… don’t question if that makes any sense kid just Fire it up Okay, Ah thanks! (Whoopsh) Top of the morning to you laddies My name is Jack a boy man and welcome back to South Park the fractured But whole guys this might be the end of our adventure this might be the final episode at this game. But Morgan Freeman decides to talk before I had a chance to do anything so… Shift time of day, I knew I was gonna get a power like that.. Whoa!! sweet do you guys see that? Okay Butters! thing the power of my ass!! you’re welcome everybody ah!! So there’s a bag up here with this gut and bones. Oh, sorry. Sorry bones II action manzo’d orb of sublime insight recipe Can I make shit artifacts okay, you’re a hundred I should have been making this stuff I’ll just make them all oh wow Can’t hurt fucking d20 stuck at the teeth Then what Schlotzsky’s going to so we’ll see after a while um Should I just make another one of these I have the power? And it brings up my it brings up my rank a lot. I should just keep making them orb of sublime woo. I Would do this one, okay? Yeah, dude? Um Okay, I guess I guess we’re done for now. Let me see what I can equip Give me over 800 might give it to me okay 95 90 Haha here we go these are the ones I’ve two of these so I could have kept two of them Damn it damn it damn Still can’t get over a hundred oh Well, whatever we tried our best is there anything else we can craft consumables macaroni picture still I forgot anymore fucking back aroni So I can’t craft shit dog all right moving on Hey guys wait up I’m the one that got you in here remember. That’s a cool looking sight though The moon and the clouds everything in the background the lighting on it is really cool unit turned epic Artificer what? Shut up It’s Jack the boy, man. You’re talking to Love some young people interested in genetic engineering huh your butts on his door wonderful. Please come in Everything about me fester was books oh There’s more. Oh my my there’s a lot of you He’s gonna put something stick as well Everything is buts. I’m so pleased that you children are interested in genetic engineering Genetic science began as a simple question can a monkey be made to have four asses instead of one The answer was yes, of course now. We’ve been able to get more asses to pigs horses everything you can imagine Yes, little boy out of that help. Oh, you’re one of the cynics I will meet me over here for the tour, and I’ll show you how? Come on. Don’t be shy we don’t want to miss the forest gorillas feeding me Look how does that help ah a cynic huh? No you filled out all the release forms, right? I’m sure there’s gonna beat up your bats and everything. It’s very Jurassic Park feeling Jurassic world It’s like you Try to figure out it so quick if you could you never stop to think if you should don’t worry kid this place the state-of-the-art Nothing can go relax. What could possibly go wrong? life finds away Not now kid I’m working sorry so am I technically Zak point man. We should add more security here No, I think you should add less asses here. Also. I’m the one with the power of ass Why are you guys giving everything that power? You don’t know what you meddle with? Please have a seat you ever play that video game. Halfway. Okay, here we go this Is our half life starts off here, you can see our greenhouse genetic engineering is helpful to grow larger tomatoes onions cucumbers So many bugs everywhere animals with more asses means more nutrition for people all around the planet What good does that do oh? You bible-thumpers are all alike don’t play God you’ll pay for it Let’s continue after the second shall we I love that his excuses like Like that religion versus non religion arguments that always go around on the internet. It’s of course It’s combining animals like these donkey apes bunny fish Squirrel donkeys and more once we put more asses on these we will truly be benefiting science Will you please explain how that better science at all what’s your name little boy? Super Craig you see super Craig once We know how to do things to animals we can hopefully apply them to mankind you think having more asses is impossible I tell you it’s not It is like it’s not the point of genetics Why or why not just animals and veggies we are working towards helping people as well here You can see genetic mutations of my dead son most people don’t remember that I once had a young child named Terrance well Yeah
I remember that kid I was wondering whatever had to be here Terrance was killed tragically in town when some kids were playing around with a relic belonging to Barbara Streisand oh Yeah You’re doing this all as a way to bring back your dead son bring it back. Well of course not I’m trying to give his dead body more asses so he can finally rest in peace now. Let’s continue on to the fourth floor ah fuck Well here we are the top floor of the building and the end of our tour These horrible monstrous mistakes of science our new benefactor has asked that we genetically alter some of the local sixth graders and make Them stronger and crazier, okay, okay? Why the fuck would you do that? How do you mean? Why the fuck? Would you make genetically it had sixth graders calm down super crank? How do you think we pay for all this we have? Financial donors our latest benefactor has asked for this army of mutated 6th graders to protect his altered cats What altered cats oh right over this way? The fuck is going on Oh God named mr. Connor has donated money to have stray cats enhanced with more asses our company can add asses to things at very competitive rates mich con hat seemed to become really aggressive when did amor They’ve proven to be quite deadly then why would you break up like your kids up here look? There’s nothing to worry about this entire facility has a very complex security grid famous last words That’s never happened before oh shit What are you? Mr.. Connor if you shut down the security grid then everyone in this building is going to die Oh God Oh, No looks like we’re going to have to master way out of this one Many ash cats no Jesus, but they look everything turned out it was like wait, would you do that ah Bible-thumper I see it’s like no I’m genuinely asking why the fuck he would do that did he never actually gave anyone a straight answer Okay, it’s time to defeat the man II asked cats okay, Kyle, I might change you out because I forgot that tweak as a healer, so I’m I Don’t really know how I could use coal girl on some cats. It’s not like they have phones Mister up for pussy calls or booty calls. No need to have a lot of asses. Huh who else is good like butters a lot To shit back in Why not come on Stan? Let’s dance? I beat that literally because I don’t dance let’s play okay Yes, yes, yes, let’s stop this for a second Yeah, I know one of you is going to say something But I have to go over here and punch a few cats in the ass I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it is yeah I’m punching cats in the ass Fuck you kidding oh Are you gonna do oh god, I thought it was one of them gonna attack if you do that you’re gonna get hurt and So is Craig and so is Stan? So let’s maybe not Do that let’s maybe do Shit Bad you can’t boot flow There we go I was going to freeze them, but amazed. I’ll kill them I like your professors in the background do easier. That’s a nice touch. Oh, that’s a bad idea. I love this power No this one This hits everything except, that’s gonna hit tweek then Now a fucking power Sorry and it knocks back knocks back bleeds and hits everybody. Yeah, it’s the best attack of the game Alright, I guess you can hit him Come on duck Jake No kidding it’s a back any Good, I think I just did something bad to the generator Stop hitting buttons. Oh god are they all protected Fuck Everything he does Okay, one of those is dead. Please afraid all the cats is another one gonna come out after this. Oh shit camp tweaks almost dead Let’s fuck him up Oh Nice nice Okay, he’ll Fuck okay, oh, you’ll both of them not a lot, but you’re dealing them at least Thanks hey hey, let’s go guys – you don’t mind our garnishee – suck my balls Man I want to watch those episodes again nothing Yahoo episode with a the episode where this song was first introduced Let’s fighting love oh, oh those bad. Oh shit Nothing would hit back assume. You’ve all had your Tdap vaccination I really should you know I’m not sure this handle actually opens the door at all What right oh come on oops now? I’ve done it Sure is Who needs health Craig does? They only need to get shocked as well, but the shark doesn’t do that much damn dams okay? Hopefully the confused ones attack each other Thanks Bob, okay shit tweaks it Damn it. I hate that attack I sure do Paul fuck you why you love this attack But no awesome that is It’s like a super. Okay. No you don’t know you don’t know Huh it’s not on my fucking watch Okay, he’s dead punch punch punch him a little more a little more. Oh, he’s fucking dead everybody dies Time to DIY some justice sure why not let’s fight in LA I Love what we still talking he’s dead dead Okay, I mean just know maybe I should do something stronger 162 Yes, I sure did bro, what are you gonna? Do you ain’t got shit dawg? I don’t do it oh Okay Stan you badly need help But you can kill him Hey, let me just do this I think these might be the last guys have to fight so if San dies It’s not that big a deal I think he’s gonna get gross toes. I Think what you’re adding asses on to things it’s like You see now that we can we did this. It’s like yeah, but why I? Love it All right at poor creatures We must escape the lab, maybe maybe we can go through some of the larger exhibits this way children, okay I got all the kids I have tired being a single dad let’s try this I Think she’s bits and pieces the sixth graders estimators are on the loose. This was definitely not supposed to happen Oh God oh God they’re all around us We’ll be safe in the tour tram All the tour tram is offline somebody’s gonna have to get to the CPU and hit the override switch Where’s the CPU down on the third level? Was silly to put it there with me somebody has to walk down to the third level and flip the switch oh Really should be you anyway. Yeah, if you think about it. This is all kind of your fault Well it fuckers, and I don’t talk so of course. I wasn’t gonna fucking say anything may I take a picture with you We’ll never finish the tour or even live if you don’t flip that tramps with This one let me pet it you take Come on Hey ever there. We’ve linked dust our behavior and our mutated cats with feline AIDS. Oh Okay, I’m just trying to tell you to be careful, okay What were they even trained to do here, I love that they actually take pictures on this so cool oh He’s dead Wow a fucking dead soon if I’m not careful Dazzling dervish recipe Ok can I use my my time power to go through this Here I go Hey that didn’t really help ah I see Come on out butters. Oh, it’s the other site ok like a sound blasted away Thanks guys Normally when I ask last up away, it’s like red stuff awesome dude. Thanks, man. I’ve been squatting I Put the stairs behind that portal door but to open the door you’re gonna need power Get that generator powered up and the access to the stairs will open Yeah, Craig’s the voice of reason in all of this come on ahead now there we go haywire haywire Did you go get a minion – it’s our sticky Well he’s dead bye, thanks, oh that’s bad Okay time stop using all the powers I’ve learned along the way Here we go now it’s out here Answer a panther and I need captain diabetes Think you might be the world’s only diabetic superhero Actually, we don’t know that We don’t know there’s There they’re conditions My able to actually hit this No, okay whatevs Just moving a giant battery no need to worry Send that back in there you Know I could really just save the day with my ass alone We don’t even need to do anything else Down here guys, okay, you should be coming to my dead son now just keep heading. West, huh? Stop animal testing hashtag inhumane hashtag animals are people to stop animal cruelty hashtag me how? Dumb okay guy a Buy five of these I’m feeling this these are gonna be handy going into like final phases of battles I Think I think we’re getting there, Oh God, Oh God Butts on his shoulders he’s got boulders, but shoulders Oh Get over here D. There’s a picture of some Pheebs man bids. I wanna see some bids where oh uh We’re not paddling oh I was getting into fucking battle zone territory Okay very nice. Oh, I should probably craft the things I bought and it relays as well that Antidotes give back health they give regen. It’s all the time. We could have been using antidotes Is that boobs oh oh There’s a lot of them Okay, which one do I do first ooh wait secrets? Sorry what was I supposed to do that? I’m not fucking sure anymore Okay it seemed like they were about to attack me. I might just have to fight the money Makes like a pig Did that do okay, yeah, those are boobs beads Is there a way of I’m just figuring that this probably opposed a little thing that I can do or do more damage to them or whatever Yeah, you can’t do anything to that I thought I could drag it in and move it sometimes. Oh wait yeah And don’t I keep forgetting normally. It’s read-only you’re blown away Legos Sorry has to be done though. Thanks me in He’s coming a man my but I like it Backdoor sluts 9 DVD hahaha Okay, what if I? Know I want to hit the button Okay, just do that that single ass 40000 I don’t have to fight. Oh god. There’s a lot of them. Oh jesus you better move that ass ah Get the forthey shit oh There’s a lot of them this was stupid. This is a bad idea actually come again. He’s dead I Always kill two of them Okay, oh my god. He just exploded It fling let’s fucking dance bitches I Know you’re all gonna get hit by that nice Okay, you don’t do that much damage, but there’s enough of you to be able to kill me very quickly okay Shit even I froze though oh man ready, okay? Yeah, those sound make sixth-graders alright Man I didn’t even have to fight any of these fuckers PDA damage confuses near right, okay, but Craig’s dead can I still do this? Oh? I? Realize that I thought I’d have to revive him What I still want to know what they’re saying Let’s fighting love let’s fighting love Okay lots of damage that’s good. Somebody’s about to get fixed who they’re gonna be Looking at – alright Can you kill both of them no but close enough Oh Yeah Wow oh Shit, oh, I can kill him nice Here we go here we go here we go What now you’re dead I’m just gonna sit back and revel in my victories Hell yeah the mosque it hurts my goggles they do nothing Okay nice on dudes You should be right through that door kid didn’t come down and join you we never do any of that but whatever Okay, you can turn off to turn off the boobs now can’t turn off the boobs boobs are here forever You’re mine What are you doing Connor brought me here to even catch six son of a bitch you shut up King Soon this town will be rid of you and all the kin friends. We’re Freedom House badass We know what you’re doing at it putting cat urine into people’s drugs and alcohol to make them crazy We want to know why yeah, why? Do I really have to spell it out King this city is sick? we both know it there’s only one time of year when this town is the way it should be on Christmas so I joined the Chamber of Commerce and use them to unleash my master plan Escalate crime in the city blame crime on mayor run for mayor get tons of followers clone New kid into a genetic mutant win election make everyday Christmas. What do you think can we go five? Quick take a selfie Why oh, so I can get his plan Okay, I did it what what more do you want? Is a filter gonna show something else It’s almost a shame that no one will ever know how perfectly my plan worked dude. You’ve got too far this time Nobody’s let you be mayor I know I’ve got all the new kids followers every last one of them is now following me gee that was smart Eric I work so hard every day sounds like fun. But it really wouldn’t be Becky dr. Timothy if you guys don’t mind I’ve got an election to win Oh there goes the main CPU Darn it. Why did I put that thing on a mobilize trapdoor? Yeah? Why anything you I’m afraid now someone will have to go clear to the ground level and call for the tour tram from there All right fine hurry up. New. Okay, we gotta get out of here Yeah, new kid stop wasting time you guys come on try my best We’re not going to die in here we will survive are you crying I’m crying Listen to you crying okay Oliver listen to his plan of actions Okay, whatever Dad if you can see this. I love you. I’ll say hi to mom for you. Oh look this his mom’s dead That’s sad. Oh. Yeah. I keep forgetting I can ask blast this away See now you guys are wasting time Oh Yeah nice The later The nucleus suit it’s pronounced new killer There you go let it mean I’m gonna do that when I add for a room from now on it’s like sir would what would you like chaos? usually like walk into Starbucks or something By I Like that when you’re trying to use these it almost shows like that gif of the lady likes thinking about something you see all the The numbers and equations around her head, it’s the same when you’re scanning something it looks like that Let’s go Nice Okay, I’m guess. I need you again Do I I do Whoo a lot of shit Guys are kind of cute when they cry Uh-huh hashtag sorry not sorry Wendy. That’s kind of messed up. Who is this Wendy? You’re talking about toolshed. Yeah look We kind of just use our real names on here. It’s okay Your whole outfit ricci a man Jack office or sperm sample yeah In diabetes come on Scott malkinson I got diabetes Yeah, we’ve been over this Damn dude Why I love him okay I don’t need to buy anything for the– suck looks like all the mutated animals have broken loose well well Okay, that was horrifying that’s very dead space Man, I want to play dead space again You Looks like you’ve run into mutant sixth-graders I mean, I don’t intend on it so Geiger counter Is there anything I can hit around here that will mess them up oh Oh, are you chasing me you chased me Doug? It’s fine fine No, no no no no no I need combat advantage Here we go. I don’t even care if I can go around you. I’m just gonna destroy you I’ve designed them to be removable in case anything to attack people from below Why would you do that awesome it’s gonna attack from below, then okay, okay, okay, okay, okay? There’s a timer at the bottom Shit I’m stealin still in the danger zone This is still in the danger zone Hey, I can freeze you need to get out everybody out of the danger zone I’ve heard him a lot ok ok ok ok here we go My fucking dirt. Yeah, oh did I just put him in harm’s way again. I fucking did dammit, bitch Ok well I’m I’m just gonna do this and hopefully kill one of you oh Now you’re too much health Ok, but I’m gonna get you very close to dead Useit useit useit useit useit useit power bacon bacon chicken No crepe oh it’s tweeks turn shit, okay? Why did you do that? Who’s stupid? This is happening, okay? You get in there but much Okay, none of my guys are on the grade, so I’m gonna let this happen He’s gonna hit that other guy up there Here we go you dead fucking better be because you’ve a lot of health weight this dude Elliot Now we win Don’t need to get punch in the mouth guys got guys guys. Can we Can we just weak? Can we can we end this then it’s supposed to fight these should I have just left Yes fooled all me smart boy You guys weren’t beats by trade by the way oh Thank fucking Jesus that was a lot of them cloven heirloom It looks like boobs. It was no in model it in episode were they trying to get to show boobs the Sixth graders, but they took a picture of Cartman’s boobs or something Yeah, yeah Hey, you’re not breaking for some reason here we go I got it alright moving on Okay So am I super powerful and you’re trying to clone me by taking my parents genetics What Can I even help you right now, I can’t they’re trying to get DNA from your mother, and I you Mother quick, she’s in the next room go get mommy’s DNA sample. Then bring it here Hey, why would I do that? Why am I doing any of this hey mom? Sixth graders came out of nowhere my legs are broken, sweetie Mommy, can’t walk you have to go into town and get help, sweetheart listen to me They were about to cut off your father’s head to scan his DNA I’m sorry, sweetheart, but we have to finish the job the only way out of here is to kill daddy. Oh Like you don’t deconstruct everything I say Go do it sweetie go cut off daddy’s head hurry Are you say to get each other killed Okay, how about I do neither What if I just leave, okay, I can’t graze multi-asset anatomy Worms if I talk to you again What’d she say did she say how nothing is their fault like usual? I knew something like this would happen and it’s why I’ve told your mother to keep her fucking mouth shut I told you if our child’s powers were discovered. They’d try to harvest our DNA and make it genetic clone Listen kiddo the CPU is waiting for either of our DNA. Just trick your mom into walking over to it I’m trapped inside You hear that go get mommy’s arm that should do it Get a DNA sample from one of your parents do I actually have to harm one of them? Ah? God Can’t do anything with this Okay, I’m probably gonna have to pull off mommy’s arm because it’s either pulled off her arm or take off his head Could you know just like pee or spit into something or maybe jizz into something? Take a swab sample is it a multi a snake So the way I see it is that you either kill him or Maim her and I don’t want either of them to die so I figure I just pull her arm off Oh Don’t kill mommy sweetheart mommy loves you Shit what happens if I press this hey sport What I do he the train twice in her I’m gonna try twice in him Oh my god, this is fucked up Okay, okay wait wait wait is this is this about the medicine. I put in your food We only did it to protect you your dad knew it had side effects go ask him OS your dad about the side effects And dad what’s she talking about side-effects? Cited dad You want to know this I just tried to ask her she told me to go to you I kill there no Wait can they revert time sweetheart daddy’s proud of you kiddo Can you use my timecard to clinch back Oh God But they’re trying to clone me direct it oh god, it just killed my mom for no reason Oh Tonight I was going to see what happens if I kill both At the end of this game gonna be that I fired so powerfully that I revert time and everything just goes back to normal Okay a big fights coming up here because I just got smacked Okay, oh god what am I doing? Give me 25 cents to keep putting asses on them Okay just keep an ass’s on him oh Dude chicks will be so into you people love people with more asses you know He knows just spanking him okay, we reached the end Okay you look great Okay guys there We go see that wasn’t so hard was it what took you so long new kid you just screwing around having fun My mom’s days. We’ve got to get up to the town and tell everyone what Cartman is doing I Don’t think so gasps You came all this way just to die Coon and friends freedom pals Canton France Freedom pals Keenan benefit today pegs careful guys. He’s got some kind of super weapon it’s over fat ass we’re gonna Tell everyone on you. Yeah, you hear that Connor You shut up King we need each other don’t you get it. I create the crime and you stomp it out I am good for your franchise Oh fuck. I get it now, but then the new kid had to come along and try to stop me for good I had no choice, but to have my own new kid Bill. Oh crisis daughter Eric Zippo How do you stop a coon friend by creating a massive genetically altered Coon friend from that heroes DNA what oh dude? That’s so fucking bass. What do you mean King really? You’re just gonna fight a superhero by creating a big genetic mutant from the heroes DNA. That’s like every douchebag superhero movie ever Yeah, cuz it’s kids. It’s not cute. No. No it’s cool. Because it’s like the ultimate enemy. Oh give me a break well Anyway, I’m just getting the new kid’s DNA so I had to resort to cloning a different superhero, which superhero. What the Fu–? *(Laughs)* I even joked about it… Does the thing a way to go where he came in and I said what if he was the final boss? And I have to agree! Oh my god!! I so called it. Oh, man! Okay, well here we fucking go! then um… Right now I have to figure out what I’m doing I Might have to replace you I am sorry, but I need someone who can do defense down attacks What did we can he’s probably gonna be immune to all this shit though like all the status effects I? Guess I can keep him in I kind of want to keep them in because they’re healers and they’re good healers Let’s just see what happens! Ninety thousand health It’s gonna be okay. Sorry Kyle, but I’m filled with mutant rage, and I have to destroy you guys man wait wait hold everything Okay, I just wished to observe it. Genetically augmented the superhero squashing his tiny foes into a viscous red pace pretend. I’m not here Just gonna watch okay? Starting it off. Strong starting it off with a few beat downs here we go Yeah, that’s right. Take those chunks. Take those 69s on six to nine and you bro Okay, this is uh This is real fucking, but yeah, he’s immune to fries. He’s immune to shock… It was a mistake to bring tweek into this fight! Crap I should have known that well, I didn’t know that and I still did it anyway We’re he’s a good healer. If nothing else. He’s he’s still ever to do damage. So that’s good That’s I do a whole lot of damage Whatever Okay, no no watch the eyes, please these glaciers are a big hit and they’re really expensive to replace Well he’s immune to boys I’m into bleeding that’s very good news for me, or a bleed this bitch Okay and defense down Okay nice Destroy we got the actually programmed in an animation for him to take notice for Jesus, holy Christ Woohoo I wanted to call my girl classy title classy for a hit-and-run attack. She’s just 275 – used classy yet There it is That’s right bitch you did please not dead, but how did she get into the lab? You’re Hurting every motherfucking, oh wait you just do this ultimate anyway. I don’t have to have them in the fight together Oh Didn’t know that well you’re gonna have to need to heal yourself actually Staying up I don’t know if I’ll be able to defeat this boss someone go okay mask off Mask off it’s fucking go time 602 damage yes get him Stan I mean toolshed What is he changing the attack order that’s bullshit You’re cool, let’s give it all I got Dude damn they’re there they’re there they’re there Danny Danny Get him G-man! Okay, so my guys might die here. Oh, hey chance Haha let out My crazies we can’t beat this thing we Can’t handle the Sun how we gonna last till daytime I don’t know, but we have to try okay tiny and I finish cleaning my gravy And make me easy Okay, here we fucking go! Change the day I’m kind of regretting not getting the new kid you might want to do that part that rotates the Earth 180 degrees I just already did it bitch leave me alone Okay He’s put an SPF on I can’t hit him from here, okay? Nice she does so much damage You can’t heal her he’s super weak when this is on we can’t let him put on more SPF. Oh Weak! Let me heal them from here. Nope shit. Okay here we go! ah!! He made an overwatch line that’s cool! That’s okay, I get it! I’m three-year 163 What it is 62 be pleased? Actually 222, it’s a horrible thing.. Sorry semi water back Give them shits like a is that a God of War three reference right now, I’m crap you’re phenomenal flattest, please date This sucks don’t even have a Moses I Don’t even have a Moses to be able to heal my guys, okay, I need to revive him so that he can use his fart And then normally this would be a chance to attack everybody I’ve got a maximum revived Hills you fully But this gives me a chance to actually heal all my guys Last thing I need right now is a breakout believe me Okay we know, but I need to heal and I’m almost dead again. I am fucking Danny in I got just the tool for this job! And I can heal both of you and then tweak and heal him! Or not Okay, I can’t fucking heal anybody, okay, okay, revive Stan go go go go. I do way more damage! During the daytime I mean obvious yeah, cuz that was the whole point of it, but.. As soon as thousand damage or like I 1800 damn exactly! He actually is… 441 health left I should be able to do this! Ah I fucked it up, and they fucked it up! Oh no no is they’re gonna kill us! Okay Wendy don’t die Wendy. Don’t die Wendy. Don’t die!!! Now tell attacks! NO! He was a hit away from dead (AWW Don’t Worry Jackaboy!) Motherfucker!! Okay, I need a different team going into this. Okay well We’ve been here for a while And it seems like there’s still a long way to go So I thought this was going to be the last episode and it’s not so apologies on that friend, but anyway Thank you guys so much for fighting crime with me this time if you liked it punch that like button in the face Who are you buzz and? Shh Man fighting crime sure does take some time

Chris Pine’s Finger Injury

Chris Pine’s Finger Injury


– I LOVE THE MOVIE.
– OH, THANK YOU. – YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT’S
GONNA HAPPEN, AND IT’S REALLY… – WE’RE SO SORRY
YOU GOT CUT OUT. – REALLY GOOD.
YOU KNOW, CAN YOU TELL ME WHY? – IT WAS–YOU KNOW,
YOU WERE STEALING THE LIGHT. – OH, YEP, I CAN SEE THAT. I CAN SEE WHERE–YEAH. – YOU DID ME A BIG FAVOR BY…
– BOWING OUT? – BY BOWING OUT. – YOU’RE RIGHT.
I DID STEAL THAT SCENE. UM… NO, IT’S REALLY–
I THOUGHT, ESPECIALLY THAT, ‘CAUSE THAT’S HOW–IT’S KIND
OF ONE OF THE FIRST SCENES. IT OPENS UP REAL BIG. – YEAH, THAT’S ONE
OF MY FAVORITE SCENES, IS, I COME TO MOSCOW,
AND I’M AN ANALYST, SO THIS IS MY FIRST TIME
KIND OF BEING IN THE REAL WORLD, AND I ENCOUNTER
THIS VERY LARGE GENTLEMAN, AND I GET INTO THIS FIGHT
WITH HIM, AND TALKED TO KEN,
THE DIRECTOR, ABOUT IT, AND OFTENTIMES IN ACTION FILMS,
YOU GET INTO THESE FIGHTS AND PEOPLE DIE,
AND YOU GET INTO ACTION SCENES AND NO ONE’S SWEATING. NO ONE’S FREAKING OUT THAT, YOU
KNOW, YOU HAVE TO INFLICT SOME, YOU KNOW, PRETTY HEAVY STUFF, SO WE WANTED TO SEE
WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO HAVE A REAL GUY
IN THAT SITUATION AND HOW HE WOULD REACT
AND THE FEAR THAT, YOU KNOW, COMES WITH THAT. – AND HOW LONG DID IT TAKE? ‘CAUSE THAT WAS REALLY–I MEAN,
I’M SURE THAT WAS NOT YOU. THAT HAD TO BE
SOME STUNT PEOPLE, ‘CAUSE THERE’S–HOW LONG
DID IT TAKE TO SHOOT THAT? – THAT WAS ABOUT, I THINK,
A WEEK. YOU KNOW, IT TAKES A LOT
OF CHOREOGRAPHY TO FIGURE– EVEN IN A SMALL,
CONFINED PLACE– THE FIGHT TAKES PLACE
IN A BATHROOM, THEN THEY BUILT
THE SET OBVIOUSLY– BUT IT TAKES A WHILE TO FIGURE
OUT THE CHOREOGRAPHY, AND MIDWAY THROUGH,
I ACTUALLY BROKE MY FINGER IN A VERY DANGEROUS STUNT. I LOVE SAYING THAT. I FEEL SO HARDCORE. UM… – HOW DID YOU BREAK YOUR FINGER
AND THEN DO THE– BECAUSE DIDN’T YOU HAVE TO WEAR
A SPLINT? – I DID HAVE A SPLINT,
BUT IT WASN’T, LIKE– IT WASN’T IN THE MIDST OF ANY,
LIKE, GREAT– I JUST FEEL LIKE SUCH A– – HOW DID YOU DO IT? WELL, IT WAS–SO I’M THROWING
THIS HAYMAKER PUNCH, AND IN FILM/ACTING FIGHT TIME,
IT’S NOT– YOU DON’T ACTUALLY THROW
A PUNCH. YOU HAVE TO THROW
THESE KIND OF WIDE PUNCHES TO MAKE IT SEEM–
SO THE CAMERA CAN SEE IT. – HERE, PUNCH ME.
I’LL SHOW YOU. – SURE.
LIKE THIS, RIGHT? BAM. – EXCEPT YOU SAW THAT SIDE. IT’S SUPPOSED TO GO
THE OTHER SIDE. – WAIT A MINUTE.
– OKAY. DID IT LOOK LIKE HE HIT ME?
– THAT GOOD? – NO, NOT AT ALL. – HIGH FIVE. – IT DIDN’T LOOK REAL AT ALL. – WE’RE PROFESSIONALS. – SO YOU’RE DOING THAT. – SO ANYWAYS, SO I’M DOING IT,
AND IT WAS A LONG DAY, AND I JUST KIND OF–
I DID IT LAZILY, AND MY FINGER JUST SWIPED
HIS JACKET. IT WAS JUST KIND OF LIKE
VERY, VERY… – OH, NO. – UNMASCULINE. THAT’S THE WORD.
– OH, NO. – AND THEN THERE IS DEFINITELY
FOOTAGE OF ME GOING DOWN IN A HEAP OF JUST…”AH!” YEAH. JUST AWFUL, AWFUL SOUNDS. – BUT TO–HOW CAN YOU– WELL, YOU MUST’VE BEEN GOING
VERY FAST TO BREAK– – A VERY FAST SLAP. – A VERY… [both laugh] – OH, THAT’S SAD. BUT IT’S VERY PHYSICAL. THERE’S A LOT OF RUNNING.
– YEAH. – YOU HAD TO BE IN GOOD SHAPE. AND YOU’RE WORKING
WITH KEVIN COSTNER, WHO’S FANTASTIC IN IT AS WELL. – I MEAN, HE’S–
HE IS SUCH A COWBOY. WE SHOWED UP TO THE– WE WERE DOING PRESS,
AND HE WAS IN HIS CUFFED JEANS AND HIS COWBOY BOOTS
AND HIS VEST. AND, YOU KNOW,
YOU FORGET THAT HE WAS– I MEAN, HE’S “BULL DURHAM.” HE’S “DANCES WITH WOLVES.” AT MY AGE, AT 33, I THINK HE WAS
MAKING “DANCES WITH WOLVES.” I MEAN, HE’S AN ICON, SO IT WAS INCREDIBLE. – YEAH, HE’S A GREAT GUY. – GREAT GUY.
AND HE’S GOT A BAND. I MEAN, HE’S GOT A LOT OF STUFF
GOING ON. – YEAH, AND YOU SHOT– AND YOU ACTUALLY SHOT IN RUSSIA,
DIDN’T YOU? – WE SHOT–
YEAH, WE SHOT MOST OF IT, ACTUALLY, IN ENGLAND, IN LONDON,
AND AROUND THERE, AND MOVIE MAGIC MAKES IT LOOK
LIKE IT’S MOSCOW. BUT WE DID DO, LIKE,
TWO DAYS OF GUERILLA FILMMAKING IN THE HEART OF MOSCOW. – YEAH. IT’S A BEAUTIFUL CITY, AND I THINK THERE–YOU KNOW,
THERE’S A LOT GOING ON WITH THEM RIGHT NOW
WITH THE OLYMPICS BEING THERE AND THEIR STANCE
ON THEIR POLICIES, AND YOU’VE BEEN VERY OUTSPOKEN
ABOUT THAT, WHICH I THINK IS GREAT. – YOU KNOW, I HAVE
CERTAIN FEELINGS ABOUT IT. I KNOW–YOU KNOW,
I’M A FRIEND OF ZACH QUINTO, AND I’M VERY SENSITIVE
TO THAT ISSUE. AND OBVIOUSLY, THEIR POLICY
ON IT IS NOT– I MEAN, IT’S ARCHAIC AND NOT
OF THE 21ST CENTURY, CLEARLY. – IT’S NOT, AND IT’S A SHAME. IT’S A BEAUTIFUL CITY.
IT’S AN AMAZING PLACE. – IT’S A STUNNING CITY.
IT’S SO MUCH HIST– WHAT I FIND, LIKE, DRIVING IN
FROM THE AIRPORT, YOU HAVE ALL THESE LAYERS
OF HISTORY. YOU GET THE COMMUNIST BLOCK, WHICH IS KIND OF CONCRETE,
YOU KNOW, 50-STORY TALL
APARTMENT BUILDINGS, BUT THE CLOSER YOU GET
INTO THE CITY, IT BECOMES THIS KIND OF
INTERESTING SERPENTINE, COBBLESTONE STREET. I MEAN, YOU FORGET THAT,
YOU KNOW, IT WAS ONLY, WHATEVER– A HUNDRED YEARS AGO, IT WAS
A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WORLD. – YEAH, YEAH. IT’S A BEAUTIFUL–VISUALLY,
IT’S A BEAUTIFUL FILM TO WATCH, IN EVERY ASPECT. – YEAH. – ALL RIGHT, WE’LL TAKE A BREAK,
AND WE’LL BE BACK WITH CHRIS. [cheers and applause]